高阶：logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout
中阶：presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression
The young who spend more time at home could certainly strengthen the family relationship. It is likely that older family members can give them useful suggestions in their study and career development. The parents are more experienced in life. When the young stay with the family members, they will feel protected and will not feel lonely.
The young spending more time at home could bring numerous benefits, and the most obvious one is that the family relationship is certainly strengthened. It is doubtless that the longer the time people spend together, the more intimate they will become. Besides, older family members, who are more experienced in life, can give young people useful suggestions on their study and career development, such as how to cope with pressure from the employer and how to arrange time properly when task is too challenging.
Conducting scientific researches is in many cases not cost-efficient. This is mainly because most experiments require sophisticated technology and equipment. Also, the success rate is normally quite low, which means scientists need to repeat the same process several times. In addition, most findings cannot be discovered or put into practice in the short term. Finally, it is possible that with a large amount of investment, no result is found after years of experimentation.
Conducting scientific researches is in many cases not cost-efficient, not least because most experiments require sophisticated technology and equipment. For example, in space research, reliable facilities on the ground to send and receive signals accurately from the universe are needed, which could cost millions of dollars, and launching arocket for a one-way trip could even amount to more than one billion dollars. Nevertheless, seldom have we seen any direct application of the discovery of the space exploration at the moment.
It is argued that schools no longer need to use textbooks, because this is the trend that no one can avoid. The traditional teaching method using printed books will finally become extinct and students will enjoy using the new and digitalized teaching methods and materials.
It is argued that schools no longer need to use textbooks. This is evidenced by the fact that many multimedia devices have already been widely used in most educational institutions. For example, by using PPTs and videos, teachers can demonstrate the knowledge in a more engaging and interactive way. Similarly, students equipped with computers or tablets can review lessons easily and accomplish coursework conveniently. Comparatively, traditional teaching methods relying on textbooks can hardly illustrate the information comprehensively with only words and static pictures, making students loss their attention and interests very soon.
代词更是如此。前后如果意思紧密相关，通过一个简单的 that/ this/ it，不仅避免了词汇表达的重复，更是提醒老师，essay前后都是在说一件事情。
Group activities can improve the cooperation skills of the participants. In group activities we can develop the ability to collaborate with others to accomplish one task. We no longer finish assignment simply according to our own wills. In group activities, we will make use of the strength of each group member to maximize the profits. When playing basketball as a group, some may be responsible for passing the ball and implementing the tactic, while others shoot to score. If one practices basketball alone, he will never know the importance of teamwork.
Group activities can improve the cooperation skills of the participants, since we can develop the ability to collaborate with others to accomplish one task. This means that we no longer finish assignment simply according to our own wills; instead, we will make use of the strength of each group member to maximize the profits. For example, when playing basketball, some may be responsible for passing the ball and implementing the tactic, while others shoot to score. In comparison, if one practices basketball alone, he will never know the importance of teamwork.
改进版本中增加了每句话的连词，以及去掉了重复的 in group activities，整体连贯度大幅提高。