据观察，自尊的发展并不是因为表扬或仅仅是给他们一个奖杯。它来自于他/她多年来的经验，通过这些经验，他们发展出一种感觉，他们是被社会接受的，有能力的和有效的。例如，当一个孩子学习并开始自己做事情时，他们开始发展他们有能力的感觉。当孩子们看到父母对他们的依恋时，他们觉得自己被接受了。当他们通过努力取得成就时，他们就会变得有效(Ainsworth et al.， 1978)。
According to psychology and sociology the term “self-esteem” refers to the subjective emotional assessment of his/her self-worth of an individual. In other words it can be stated that self-esteem means judging oneself and also his/her attitude towards the self. It also encompasses the beliefs that an individual have about him/her. For instance “I am confident” “I have worth” etc are some sentences that expresses an individual’s emotional state of mind such as happiness, hopelessness, infamy or pride. It has been observed that an individual with insecure attachment in their infancy has a chance of developing low-self-esteem.
It has been observed that self-esteem does not develop because of praising or just by giving them a trophy. It comes from his/her experience over the years through which they develop the feelings that they are socially accepted, capable and effective. For instance, when a child learn and start doing things by themselves they start to develop the feelings that they are capable. When children see his/her parents’ attachment towards them they feel that they are accepted. When they achieve something by trying hard they become effective (Ainsworth et al., 1978).